The Land of Short Sentences by Stine Pilgaard

Author:Stine Pilgaard
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: World Editions
Published: 2021-03-30T14:44:50+00:00

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Dear Letterbox,

I am a woman in my mid-forties, and I have a big dilemma. I want with all my heart to meet my one and only, and I have been searching for him in vain for many years. It always feels promising at the beginning, but I’ve been the victim of cheating and lying so many times. How can I tell who these men really are? How can I sort the good from the bad on the first date so I don’t keep getting hurt?

Sincerely,

The Victim

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Dear Naïf,

Don’t ask yourself who you want to marry, ask who you want to divorce. I’m talking about the whole package: broken dreams, couples therapy, moving boxes, family court, and, best-case scenario, a quick click on the citizen services website. Would he say, of course, just take the sofa, you’ve always loved it, or would he start sawing it in two in a rage, would he line the children up in two even rows and insist on having the first pick. And how would he describe you in his anecdotes. Would he let your shared memories rest in peace, or would you become the ex-wife he laughs about with his new girlfriend as they lie in the double bed eating scrambled eggs and bacon, encircled by the wide-eyed children you now share in joint custody. You can’t judge people by how they treat you when you are out on a date, because you’re showing one another the best versions of yourselves. The first sign you can be on the lookout for is very simple. How does your date treat other people, does he make jokes at the waiter’s expense, is he arrogant, does he use a different voice when he places his order. Does he avoid eye contact and talk at the waiter like a microphone, a tube that runs back to the kitchen and automatically generates well-prepared dishes. Does he speak to the taxi driver like a GPS with voice-recognition software, where all you have to do is say the address that will guide you home. Or does he give a short but friendly smile when he tells the driver where he lives. I’m not talking about leaving massive tips or having long, intimate conversations. Common courtesy is sufficient, fifty kroner on the table when you leave the restaurant. Dear Naïf, consider your date’s behavior toward people in the service industry, because they hold the key to his true nature. It is with them that everything begins and ends. Taxi drivers and waiters. Forget the wedding, remember the divorce.

Kind regards,

The Letterbox

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